Ranking Everything I Heard: March 2025
Spring is here, as are some wonderful music goodies!
I’m not asking for a round of applause, but it’d be great if we could all recognise that I’ve been exceptionally brave for tearing myself away from my recent hyperfixation to write this intro…
(Yes, I’ve finally gotten into Cyberpunk 2077. And yes, much like my Biffy Clyro-adoring ass as a teen, I’ll idolise a long dark-haired, bearded man without so much as a nudge.)
In case you aren’t familiar with this series’ concept: I’ll be reviewing all 22 projects I heard this past month. The catch? I’ll only be allowed 35 words and a snappy wee score to get my thoughts across!
As always, to keep you in the right, here’s my pathetically patriotic rating scale:
10/10 - YASSSSS (Perfect, impactful)
9/10 - F***ing Spot On (Fantastic)
8/10 - Braw (Great)
7/10 - Quite gid
6/10 - No bad aw aw (Sorta good)
5/10 - Awright (Fine. It’s fineeeee)
4/10 - Wee bit minging (Lil stinky)
3/10 - Awfa' minging (Really stinky)
2/10 - Bowfing (Unbearable)
1/10 - URGHHHHH
So, without further ado, let’s dig into another month of listening! Starting with…
22) Various Artists - High School Musical 2
[2007]
Nostalgia's a hell of a drug, but the songs that slap on here do so completely unironically. Held back by HUMUHUMUNUKUNUKUAPUA'A - the toughest closer I've sat through since Hot Dog Flavoured Water.
Best Song: Bet On It
6/10
21) Knocked Loose - Laugh Tracks
[2016]
This kind of metalcore is so cathartic that it's become as much of a fixture in my life as exfoliating: feel brand-spanking new, fresh and clean despite all the ruckus.
Best Song: Counting Worms
7/10
20) Ichiko Aoba - Luminescent Creatures [2025]
That old adage about "bad" pizza still being good can be applied here: not full of the same delightful, delicate folk to the same extent as qp, but still a worthwhile venture!
Best Song: FLAG
7/10
19) Rebecca Black - Salvation
[2025]
Sorry, Rebecca Black: 14-year-old me was not familiar with future you's game. Apart from American Doll, all these songs come together in such an entertaining way. Sometimes, even in an empowering way!
Best Song: Sugar Water Cyanide
7/10
18) Joey Valence & Brae - Punk Tactics [2023]
Close enough: welcome back 2/3 Beastie Boys. JV&B give me the same fun, care-free hip-hop vibes I haven't had since Brockhampton's dominance in 2017 - not going to turn my nose up at that!
Best Song: STARTAFIGHT
7/10
17) Squid - Cowards [2025]
Every Speedy Wunderground act seems to make their third LP their most bizarre - granted, it's only happened twice, but still! Can see this being a real grower.
Best Song: Cro-Magnon Man
7/10
16) Bob Dylan - The Freewheelin' Bob Dyaln [1963]
Think I would have embraced my slightly odd, nasally voice had I listened to Bob Dylan during my formative years. If this were a few tracks shorter, I'd have bought a Fisherman cap by now.
Best Song: Don’t Twink Twice, It’s Alright
7/10
15) The National - Laugh Track [2023]
Props to The National for flipping the double album script on its head and saving all the great tunes for the second disc rather than the first. Beefy-tune National is slowly becoming my favourite kind.
Best Song: Space Invader
7/10
14) clipping. - Dead Channel Sky [2025]
This album coincided with my aforementioned recent love of Cyberpunk 2077 so well that it almost feels like I've been bugged. More existential than the nightmarish previous Clipping. records but still so meaty and preem!
Best Song: Keep Pushing
7/10
13) Weatherday - Come In [2018]
I wish this landed 10% more often with me, but whenever I can tune into its specific, lo-fi frequency, its pull is hard to break free of - not that I'd even contemplate it tbh…
Best Song: My Sputnik Sweetheart
7/10
12) TV on the Radio - Young Liars [2003]
Thank you, Daredevil: Born Again, for reigniting my TVOTR love. Would not be surprised if Staring at the Sun sees out 2025 as my most-played song of the year - who could blame me?
Best Song: Staring at the Sun
8/10
11) JPEGMAFIA - I Lay Down My Life for You [2024]
Been off Twitter for years now, so am totally unfamiliar with Peggy's antics as of late, but one thing I do know for sure is his production is still ridiculously inventive.
Best Song: it’s dark and hell is hot
8/10
10) Bedwetter - Volume 1: Flick Your Tongue Against Your Teeth and Describe the Present. [2017]
Bleakest fucking album I've heard since Giles Corey: I'm not usually hesitant to recommend albums but this is the kind where you should have to check in with your GP before getting access to it.
Best Song: Haze of Interference
8/10
09) Anderson .Paak - Malibu [2016]
Since becoming indoctrinated into the church of Stevie Wonder during the pandemic, my Malibu revisit made a much better impression on me than before. Granted, I always thought it was good but now it's simply...Wonderful!
Best Song: Come Down
8/10
08) Magdalena Bay - Mercurial World [2021]
Ahead of the curve in so many ways. With this and now Imaginal Disk, Magdalena Bay have cemented themselves as the hot new music duo to be measured against. Such a blast!
Best Song: You Lose!
9/10
07) Wu-Tang Clan - Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)[1993]
My step-brother recommended this when I was probably too young for it but I can't fault his taste. Even with a closer that is a copy/paste job, this does not let up for a moment.
Best Song: C.R.E.A.M.
9/10
06) Japanese Breakfast - Jubilee [2021]
Calling this "jubilant" would be an open net, and while it definitely can be, the moments that resonate the most are when that joy gives way for something harder to digest, like Posing In Bondage.
Best Song: Slide Tackle
9/10
05) Kendrick Lamar - good kid, m.A.A.d city [2012]
You'd assume that after 13 years there would have been another hip-hop album that comes close to rivaling this for pure cinematic narration: you'd be providing that old adage about assuming right, though.
Best Song: Sing About Me, I’m Dying of Thirst
9/10
04) Aphex Twin - Selected Ambient Works 85-92 [1992]
What can I say about this quintessential electronic album that you don't know already? When my only complaint is that the opener is too good, then you're in a cushty spot.
Best Song: Xtal
10/10
03) The National - Sleep Well Beast [2017]
Most rock bands are lucky to get one 10/10 under their belt, but for The National to get another nearly two decades in is ridiculous. P.S. I am a Carin In The Liquor Store defender.
Best Song: Guilty Party
10/10
02) Earl Sweatshirt - Some Rap Songs [2018]
There are albums I've known for decades that I haven't listened to more than Some Rap Songs. As enamouring as it is experimental, it's the best thing an Odd Future alum has ever put out.
Best Song: Azucar
10/10
01) Kendrick Lamar - To Pimp a Butterfly [2015]
Knew from my first listen a decade ago that this was special. 10 years on and it's cemented as an important, spellbinding and immaculately produced masterclass of an album. One of a kind - happy birthday!
Best Song: u
10/10
And there we have it: my March ranking!
If you’ve liked what you’ve read, then I’d appreciate it if you subscribed - you can do it for free btw - and let me know what you make of my takes in the comments!
See you soon as I go over the best songs March had to offer…